Love Shouldn't Leave Bruises: What is Abuse?
April 2008 - Erin Isings

It is the attempt to control an individual's behaviour through tactics of fear. For example, using coercion or threats, intimidation, isolation - controlling what they do, who they see, where they go. Or making light of the abuse, or threatening that they have better lawyers and they'll take the children away, says Heidi Wheeler, education and volunteer coordinator for Women's Crisis Services of Waterloo Region.

Megan Walker, executive director of the London Abused Women's Centre, says the abuse often leads to suicide. Women are most likely to be seriously injured or killed when they make the decision to leave the abuser. Women will also resort to suicide rather than leave, on occasion, because they know that he will hunt them down and kill them when they leave. So they make the choice rather than lose control to him and be hunted down and killed, they take their own lives so at least they can die when they choose to die and they way they want to die, rather than have him take the final control from them.

Both Wheeler and Walker emphasize the importance of a safety plan for both women and their children. If you don't have a safety plan or aren't sure how to make one, contact one of the resources listed below or in our Legal Briefs article.

If you suspect abuse, the following resources can help:

• Women's Community House (London shelter) 24-hour crisis line: 519-642-3000 or 1-800-265-1576 (taxi fare for London women will be covered)
• London Abused Women's Centre: 519-432-2204 or www.lawc.on.ca
• Women's Rural Resource Centre Strathroy & Area: 519-246-1526 or 1-800-265-5390
• Violence Against Women Services Elgin County: 519-633-0155 or 1-800-265-4305 or e-mail info@vawsec.on.ca
• Anselma House Shelter Kitchener-Waterloo 24-hour Crisis Line: 519-742-5894 or www.wcswr.org/main.htm
• Haven House Shelter Cambridge 24-hour Crisis Line: 519- 653-2422 or www.wcswr.org/main.html