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May 2008 - Heather Jones
Mothers who have the natural gift of being great nurturers, and who had wonderful role models to emulate, have much to be thankful for. While all women have maternal instincts, not all women have them to the same degree. Some women will emphatically insist that they don’t have any such instincts. The fact is, none of us can be all things to all people; none of us can excel in all areas all the time; we’re human and, more often than not, our humanity is showing.
Not all of us can be, or are meant to be, great nurturers. As mothers, we should always do the best we can with what we have, as often as possible. We can also strive to raise the bar by improving what we deem to be our current best. Perhaps we wish we were less tired, a little more patient or understanding, or had more time to be with our children, listening attentively to what’s really on their minds. Many mothers today are so busy “doing” for their children, there’s little time or energy left over to enjoy them.
Loving their children is natural to parents, but being able to openly demonstrate that love is a very separate area of one’s personality. As a parent or as an adult child, there will be memories that might arouse feelings of guilt, regret, sadness and, for some, pain and heartache. Whatever the regrets, people who realize positive, constructive learning from their past experiences are doing very well indeed. For example, if we sometimes fantasize about having had a mother who was openly affectionate and shared lots of hugs, laughter and time together, then the lack of such affection could motivate a stronger character within, helping us become more self-reliant, resilient and independent. These are meaningful qualities to have as we make our way in the adult world. While we may have lacked affection during our youth, we gained much to appreciate in later years. As parents, it could further reinforce our resolve to express and display to our children how much they’re loved, wanted and appreciated.
Spirits from higher realms teach that with every difficulty we encounter, we also have the where-with-all to work through it constructively. They teach that this earth is our classroom of learning and we came here with specific goals to accomplish. Every high and low point throughout our lives is a learning opportunity. The high points can teach us many things, if we’re sufficiently observant, and so can the low points. Spirits also tell us that some of the best lessons in life often come from people we find most difficult.
Perhaps we should be thankful for the difficult ones for they provide an opportunity to reinforce our level of patience, tolerance and understanding.
There aren’t any exemptions for anyone from the natural laws of the universe. We will all attract situations, conditions and people who provide the learning opportunities that we anticipated prior to being born into this classroom. If being a great nurturer comes naturally, then that’s not something we have to learn. We will, however, have other areas in which to learn much, while at the same time we can help others improve their nurturing skills.
When memories arouse feelings we’d rather not confront, there’s learning for us in the acknowledgement and acceptance of those feelings. We can’t learn through denial. Individual progress is a given when one is prepared to accept the learning during their life and thus accomplish pre-birth goals. Good, bad, or indifferent, think of your mother with recognition and appreciation for all she was able to do for you and with you. If your role model fell short of your expectations, remember that children also learn what not to do when observing adult behaviour, and we all know that children are very observant. Think of your mother with the same love she has for you and give thanks for all that you learned from her.
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