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May 2008 - Lori Fellner
It’s a work day and I’ve slept late… again. I jump quickly out of bed and as I scramble to find something to wear that doesn’t need ironing, I glance at the clock: 7:45 and none of my three “lambs of God” (a.k.a. my children) are up. I quicken my step down the hall and try to suppress my frustration and sound cheerful as I call out, “Time to get up!” No one moves (no surprise there, given they don’t go to bed on time... but don’t get me started on that).
I survey each room of the house quickly as I get ready; I can’t walk in a straight line without stepping on clothes, books, assorted school work, candy wrappers, and empty juice boxes. The garbage on the floor makes my blood pressure climb and, as I repeat my mantra to stay calm and unaffected, I make a note to bring this issue up later.
There’s no time now because I need to make lunches, deal with Lenny, my dopey dog, and try to find a pair of panty hose without runs. As I fashion my hair into a ponytail and dab concealer under my eyes to hide the dark circles, I think about the day ahead and the litany of things to do. I glance around my “lived-in” bathroom (a nice way of saying “cluttered”), and the headline from a magazine jumps off the page: “More time for you.” I actually laugh out loud. Did someone finally figure out how to add a couple more hours to the day? Curiosity gets the better of me and I flip through the pages to find the usual tips for healthy dinners in 15 minutes or less, how to organize your wardrobe to mix and match, therefore minimizing the time you spend deciding what to wear, and household fix-ups that are supposed to save you time. Blah, blah, blah. I toss the magazine to the floor and add another item to my to-do list: sort and recycle old magazines.
I don’t think my typical day is all that unusual. In fact, I’d be willing to bet it’s pretty much the norm for most of us juggling career and family responsibilities and trying not to lose ourselves in the process. But I have much to learn about this balancing act that defines my life, and even before I meet Jodie Wang, I know enough about her to realize I may have found a mentor.
Jodie and her husband, David, have nine children: Yo, 15, Yi, 14, Maggie, 13, Maddie, 11, Michelle, 10, Johnny, 8, James, 6, Monica, 5, Jordan 3 and a Sheltie named Raymond. Whew! I have to wonder how Jodie does it, because I have three children and can barely keep up. She explains it this way: “Whether you have nine kids or one, there are only so many hours in a day and you manage. All working moms – regardless of how many kids they have – are in the same boat. There’s always something that needs to be done, and a lot of jobs are only partially complete.”
She didn’t always view things so pragmatically and, although the family had a nanny when the kids were small, she admits to a time when she obsessed about neatness. It would take her all morning to make the beds and tidy rooms, and then she realized she had to change. “I’ve had to loosen up a lot and become more relaxed. Now I’m numb to it all,” she laughs. 
Of course, it’s easier now that the children are older and more self-sufficient, and everyone pitches in. The older ones do their own laundry and can make simple meals, and even three-year-old Jordan helps out.
Managing the Wang household sounds like a full-time job itself, and yet Jodie is a physician, running a cosmetic medical clinic, and works in urgent care and at a nursing home. She says she thrives on the variety in her practice and says she wouldn’t do it any other way. “I love the people I work with and the fact that every day is different. That’s the beauty of medicine.”
If that weren’t enough to have me teetering over the brink, I learn that the Wangs home-school their children. It was a decision made to simplify their lives. Simpify? Did I hear her correctly? But Jodie says that driving to and from schools, with evenings tied up with homework, was taxing on them all, so they experimented with home-schooling six years ago and haven’t looked back. A university student helps Jodie teach three mornings a week and her husband also helps the older children with their work when he gets home from work. Jodie says the children manage to complete all their assignments during the day so the evenings are freed up for sports and family time.
But I have to wonder if home-schooling is isolating for the children. I ask if they miss out on opportunities to meet other children and develop social networks and life skills that come from integrating with diverse groups. Jodie is quick to point out that the children have friendships outside of the family, but they’re also best friends for each other. She believes it’s the relationships they cultivate within the family that are most important. “When your world crashes and you need someone, it’s not your friend from Grade 5 who will be there for you, it’s your brother or sister. They are going to drop everything to help pick up the pieces of your life when it falls apart.”
Six of the Wang children play hockey, both competitive and house league, and Jodie says that she and David look forward to the nights they can watch the games together. She recognizes that finding time to be together as a couple, as well as her own personal time, is vitally important. So they go out for lunch at least once a week, and enjoy early mornings working out in their home gym before David heads to the University of Waterloo where he’s a professor in the Faculty of Engineering. “I should also tell you,” says Jodie, sheepishly, “that David serves me breakfast in bed every morning.” Is she joking? I’m taking meticulous notes now; I need to get on this schedule! Beaming from ear to ear, Jodie tells me she wouldn’t have her life any other way. “I feel so blessed. Everything in my life brings me so much happiness.”
So this is what life with nine children, a dog and a full-time career is like – at least for Jodie Wang. As I close my notebook at the end of our interview, I realize that it’s not so much about doing more with less time, or juggling schedules, or keeping it all tied together with “Supermom” strength; it’s about how doing all these things makes us feel. Exhilarated or exhausted? Stressed or energized? It comes down to attitude, and if it’s time for an adjustment, we need to make one, give ourselves permission to loosen the grip on the reins, slow down and make sure we’re taking it all in, instead of missing the important moments because they’ve rushed past us.
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